Right now I am 38 weeks pregnant and eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little cherub. I have no idea what I am in for so I have just been making space for whatever this beautiful change in our life brings. Which is why I have been so quiet here. My days which are usually filled with shooting, editing, cooking, blogging and connecting have been spent inside with the AC on still editing and shooting a little ( I can’t help myself), but with lots of napping and resting in between.
I have plans for later on in year that are brewing which include running food styling workshops on the Gold Coast and a few cookbooks for clients in the pipeline but for now my focus is on bringing a happy and healthy baby into the world and showering him/her (oh my gosh the suspense is killing me) with as much love as possible.
We didn’t plan it. I was waiting for the maternal instinct to kick in, but when I turned 30 last year something changed. It’s not that I suddenly felt the urge to become a mom, but I did feel a big shift and our transient life of traveling and wanting to be flexible had begun to grow roots. We had just bought our first house and finally having our own little nest was feeling really good. We spoke about having kids and knew that we both wanted to, so without thinking too much into it we stopped using any contraceptives. A month later I realized I was late. I took 2 pregnancy tests and they were both positive. Corey was out at the time and I burst into tears. Was I ready for this? Hell no, but when I told Corey we were both filled with so much excitement and joy and we knew everything would fall into place just the way it should.
I have had a dream pregnancy so far. I didn’t get any morning sickness and I have felt really good (most of the time). Of course there have been a few rides on hormonal roller coasters with spontaneous tears at anything from TV ads to the unmistakeable growth of my bum, but then I remember that I have grown a tiny human and I am going to be feeding a tiny human from my body and it puts the size of my bum in perspective.
1.How that mother hen, clucky, broody feeling didn’t show up for me until our little bun was in the oven then it came out in full force. I’m so glad we didn’t wait around for it before deciding on having kids.
2. Facial pigmentation. I have it. Badly. Will it go away after the baby arrives? Who knows? But one good thing is that lately it has gotten so bad that I now have permanent lipliner.. people pay good money for that sh$t.
3. That I can’t get close enough to the vanity in the bathroom when I’m brushing my teeth with a bump in the way so every night I drool a little toothpaste on my belly.
4. The feet swelling. It only started now at 38 weeks, but oh my thank goodness for flip flops if I try and wear any other shoes my feet look like Kim Kardashians.. You know the photo I’m talking about. Damn girl why squeeze them into shoes like that at 9 months pregnant?
5. Speaking of shoes I didn’t believe people when they told me I would get to the stage where I wouldn’t be able to put my shoes on. I was wrong – it happens. Again thank goodness for flip flops . The same goes for putting on pants – it’s a struggle and I almost fall over every morning. Imagine there is a bowling ball in the way, but bigger.
6. You get to the point where if you don’t have a mirror positioned at the right height you will not be able to see your hooha unless of course you are a super flexi yogi. I am not and it has been weeks!
7. Your boobs change. Completely.
8. How sick you can get of your maternity clothes. Oh this is a huge one for me. I feel like I have a uniform I put on each day. I have 2 pairs of soft pants and a couple of plain tops to pair them with which I have been wearing since I was 6 months. Ok I have a skirt I throw in the mix every now and then but seriously nothing else in my wardrobe fits and it’s not fun going shopping pregnant. Every now and then I have a mental war with myself where I think oh just go and buy something or anything besides those 2 pairs of soft pants, but then I think i’m so close to the end why buy something now when it will be so much more fun shopping after the baby is born and I can wear clothes that don’t have to be elasticated. I have been having this tug of war with myself from oh about 25 weeks.
9. I’m pretty sure it’s due to the MasterCard ad thats been on lately where the pregnant lady buys a t shirt that says “hands off “, but I haven’t had strangers touching my belly. I wouldn’t really mind that, it’s more the unsolicited advice from strangers regarding childbirth or the horror stories women feel compelled to share with me that I find really strange. It’s the “my cousin’s best friend’s brother’s wife was in labour for a year and tore from here to kingdom come” stories that women feel they simply must share with someone about to give birth for the first time that I find so bizarre. One thing is for sure childbirth, no matter what your story, is a mutual bond between women who have experienced it and I understand that seeing another pregnant woman immediately brings back the powerful emotions they have experienced when bringing their children into the world.
10. As much as I loved witnessing the journey of my sisters and my best friend’s pregnancies I know I could not have appreciated what they were experiencing until now.
11. Having the support of an amazing private midwife was the best decision we made. Early on in my pregnancy we went to see a private male OBGYN and having grown up with a father who is a physician I know how amazing doctors can be when you are sick, but for this journey I strongly felt the need for intimate female support and Steph, my midwife and all the women close to me in my life have taught me everything I need to know about carrying a baby, giving birth and trusting my body.
12. Reading positive birth stories helps so much in preparing mentally for birth.
13. Preggie brain is for real. Sometimes I feel like I have had a big night out without the hangover and just the memory loss and plans I’ve made or appointments I’ve set up come back to me in very fuzzy waves. (note to self: get a 2015 diary already or start actually using your calendar on your phone)
14. The intimacy pregnancy can bring to your relationship with your partner is simply beautiful. I never knew I could love my husband any more than I did already , but knowing that we have created a little being together makes my heart melt and when he kisses my belly and tells me how beautiful I am and how proud he is of me despite me feeling huge, pigmented and exhausted, I just swell with gratitude.
15. Little people come with a lot of stuff and we decided that our little house was too small for us ( also because both Corey and I work from home) so instead of buying a bigger house we decided to buy land and build a house right before having a baby. So with weeks to go until the birth we have moved in with Corey’s parents while we build. We definitely like to keep things interesting. It will be so worth it though, our block of land is right near the beach.
16. Pregnancy is a 10 month affair not 9 months. I feel like we should make this more known so that when a first time mumma gets to this last stage of pregnancy they are mentally prepared and don’t feel like they might be pregnant forever. Which is where I’m at. I had no idea that going to 42 weeks was perfectly normal and not considered overdue.
17. By far the most unexpected thing about being pregnant I have found is the love you can feel for a little person you haven’t even met yet.
So if you need me I will be here playing the waiting game and trying to find the focus to publish a few recipes I have backed up. I would love to hear what really surprised you when you were pregnant so don’t forget to join the conversation in the comments below.
I am so grateful for my beautiful friend, Michelle, from Eyes of Love Photography for capturing these images and for making me feel like a divinely feminine goddess for at least 1 day of my pregnancy.